


Dean Winchester Does Not Cuddle

by chattrekisses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys In Love, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Dorks in Love, Drunk Dean, Drunk Dean Winchester, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Protective Castiel, Sam Is So Done, Sam Ships It, Sam is Not Amused, Sam is the Voice of Reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 00:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10293797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chattrekisses/pseuds/chattrekisses
Summary: Dean Winchester is NOT gay, and he absolutely does NOT cuddle. Except Castiel keeps barging in, insisting on cuddling with him, and he's feeling pretty darn gay right now... What's the truth?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy my dorky little piece! I'm a sucker for a snapshots-in-time one shot, and Destiel cuddles are the cutest, so this was born!

Dean Winchester Does Not Cuddle.  
He doesn’t. Ever. The end.  
Except, apparently, he had broken that rule. Dean Winchester had four rules:  
Dean Winchester picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.  
Dean Winchester puts family first.  
Dean Winchester is not gay.  
Dean Winchester does not cuddle.  
Those were his only rules for himself. He figured that, in the crazy-ass hunting world he lived in, he might as well make some rules for himself to maintain some semblance of structure.  
Except, he had broken rule number 4. He did not cuddle, and he certainly was never cuddled, but some shady one-night stand he didn’t even remember had decided to fracture Dean’s rule.  
Problem number one was that Dean had broken a rule. Problem number two was Dean had no idea who he was sleeping with.  
“As cute as you two are, we need to get a move on.” Came a grumbly voice. Dean opened one sparkling green eye to glare at his brother, who was in the middle of brushing his teeth. “Don’t look at me like that, Dean. We gotta get a move on.”  
Dean made a grumpy gurgling noise and gently nudged at the person lying next to him. “Hey, babe, wake up.” He muttered.  
Sam snorted around his toothbrush and raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you call Cas babe?”  
Dean’s eyes shot open. Cas? Sure enough, the angel was holding Dean close, snoring softly and still wearing his ridiculous trench coat.“WHAT THE FUCK, CAS?”  
“Hmm?” Castiel muttered, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “What?”  
“Why the fuck are you in my bed?” Dean asked, turning red. Castiel looked up at Dean with big, tired doe eyes.  
“Got sleepy. You’re cozy.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms snugly around Dean’s waist.  
Dean huffed and crossed his arms. “I am not cozy. I am tough. And… and firm.”  
Castiel scooted a bit closer until Dean felt the warm press of Castiel’s face against the side of his thigh. Castiel’s breath ghosted over Dean’s knees and he shivered, heat crawling up to his cheeks.  
Sam snorted, again, and opened his mouth to make a comment, but Dean silenced him by throwing a pillow at him, knocking Sam’s toothbrush out of his hand and spraying toothpaste all over the wall. The toothbrush landed in a pile of dust bunnies by the wall.  
Sam rolled his eyes and returned to the bathroom, intent on finding a new toothbrush.   
Dean glared at the bathroom door, and then Sam, until he got the hint and left without him. Sam finished off the case by himself, because vampires be damned, Cas was sleepy.  
(line break)  
“Damn it.” Dean muttered and kicked the ground. “Damn it! Cas! Get your feathery ass down here!” Dean shivered and rubbed at his arms. “CAS!”  
“I’m here.”  
Dean spun around to find Castiel, imposing as ever, standing behind him. “Oh, thank god, Cas. We just finished ganking a witch, but she locked Sammy in the car or something. I have the keys, but I can’t open it, so we can’t go anywhere. And, fucking hell, is it cold!” Dean frowned for a moment and then kicked the ground, as if that might persuade the world to warm up. He sighed loudly and then looked over at Castiel. “Can you unlock the doors so we can get going?”  
Castiel didn’t say anything, but he marched over to the car, first removing his trench coat and shoving it into Dean’s hands.  
“Do you want me to hold this or…” Dean asked, holding up the coat apprehensively.  
“Put it on.” Castiel said, rolling up his sleeves. Dean caught himself staring at the corded muscle of Castiel’s forearms before he huffed and reluctantly put on the jacket, grateful for the warmth but slightly uneasy. “This is really fucking gay.” He muttered to himself, frowning slightly.  
He didn’t realize that Castiel could hear him, but Castiel shrugged in response. “Not particularly. Friends give friends things, right? Besides, I don’t need it right now.”  
Castiel looked the car over again, running his hand down the side of the Impala in a way that made Dean shiver but not from the cold.   
Castiel frowned and blew out a sigh. “I don’t think we’ll be able to get into the car until morning. We’ll have to wait for the spell to wear off.”  
“What?” Dean asked. “Really? That’s never happened before, usually all the crap stops when we gank a witch.”  
Castiel ducked his head a bit, so his eyes were shrouded. “Something’s different this time.”  
“Really? What? Should we be prepared for something?” Dean asked. When Castiel didn’t respond, Dean stepped forward and put his hand on Castiel’s arm gently. “What’s wrong, Cas?”  
Castiel blinked once, hard, as if waking up, and he stared at Dean’s hand. Dean didn’t stop touching him, but he was a little confused.  
“Cas?” He said, voice hushed.  
Castiel snapped up and shook his head vigorously. “No, no. Nothing is wrong.”  
“You sure? You’re acting…” Dean started, then watched Castiel bite his lip nervously. Dean turned bright red and he eyes were trained on Castiel’s lips. “... weird.”  
“Hey!” Came a muffled voice. Castiel and Dean turned to see Sam rapping his knuckles on the inside of the window. “Have we come up with a plan that doesn’t involve me being stuck in here and suffocating?”  
“Did you try rolling down the window?” Dean spit at his younger brother. Sam rolled his eyes and pressed heavily on the button. For a moment nothing happened, but then the window rolled squeakily down an inch.  
Sam glared at it, but it refused to move down more. “Congrats, Dean. Your car is shit.”  
“Bitch.” Dean growled.  
In an uncharacteristically childish move, Sam stuck his tongue out at Dean. “Jerk.”  
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, then turned back to Castiel. “Well, what are we supposed to do?”  
“Wait it out.” Castiel said, and then sat down. Dean stared at him for a moment, confused, but then Castiel tugged on Dean’s pant leg like a child. “Sit.” He commanded.  
So Dean did.  
They both leaned against the Impala, shoulders just barely touching. Dean shivered again, and he told himself it was because he was cold, but he was lying.  
Castiel could feel Dean shuddering beside him, and he said, “Are you still cold, Dean?”  
Dean nodded. “A little, yeah.”  
Castiel seemed to consider it for a moment, then he hugged Dean fiercely. Dean stiffened for a moment, then tried to push Castiel off. “What the fuck, Cas, get off me!”  
Castiel frowned, but didn’t let go of the struggling Dean. “No. You are cold, I am warm. So, I’ll keep you warm. We’re going to be out here all night, Dean. Complaining isn’t going to solve anything.”  
Dean frowned and huffed. “This… this is gay. The coat isn’t that gay. But this, this is really gay.”  
“Get over your homophobia, Dean, or else you’re going to freeze.” Castiel grumbled, lacing his fingers together over Dean’s shoulder. Silently, still slightly grumpy, Dean opened up the coat and scooted closer to Castiel so they were huddled in Castiel’s monstrously large trench coat. Castiel eyed him strangely, and Dean blushed. “Can’t have you freezing either, Cas.”  
Cas ducked his head to hide a small smile.   
They talked for a while, about the case and then about life; Dean wanted a slice of cherry pie, Castiel wanted a pet bee. Eventually, Castiel’s voice trailed off in the middle of a sentence and his head lolled, landing on Dean’s shoulder, fast asleep. Dean snorted, amused, and observed the way Castiel’s breath puffed out when he exhaled, until he heard his brother knock on the window of the car. Dean turned to watch as Sam blew on the glass until it fogged up, and then drew a heart with C+D inside. Sam cackled from inside the car, and Dean flipped him off.  
Dean watched Castiel sleep for a couple moments, happy to see the angel at peace in sleep, before closing his eyes.  
They woke up in the morning warm and tangled together, with Castiel’s head resting comfortably on Dean’s chest, their arms wrapped around each other, and Sam complaining loudly about being cold and air-deprived in Dean’s crap car all night.  
As soon as Castiel woke up, Dean scuttled away from him, eyes averted and blushing hard, loudly declaring his heterosexuality whereas Castiel just calmly put on his trench coat and brushed the dirt off himself.  
Before they got back into the unlocked Impala, Castiel came up behind Dean and quietly said, “I like cuddling with you.”  
Dean’s eyes shot open and he stomped his foot. “I. Do. Not. Cuddle!” He insisted petulantly.  
Castiel’s only response was a small whimsical smile.  
(linebreak)  
“Two beds? Do you have any three bed rooms?” Dean asked the receptionist of the crappy hotel of the day.  
The woman raised an overly plucked eyebrow at the three men. Sam was on the phone, chattering away to Bobby about the case they were on, and Castiel stood uncomfortably close to Dean, a hand on Dean’s arm. The receptionist popped her gum. “Ya sure you need three beds, sweetheart? It’d be a shame to waste money on a bed you didn’t need.” She looked knowingly between Castiel and Dean.  
Dean’s eyebrows drew together with confusion, but then he realized what she meant and his cheeks colored. “I’m positive. Three beds.” He bit out.  
Castiel tugged on Dean’s shirt, trying to get his attention, but Dean ignored him.  
“Okay, hon, but I don’t judge. Three beds is an extra fifty bucks, ‘cuz we’d have to move a bed into one of the two-bed rooms. But it’s your choice.”  
Dean brooded silently for a minute, before slapping a credit card onto the table. “We’ll take the fucking two bed room.”  
The receptionist smiled and blowed another gum bubble. “Great.”  
After they paid for the room, Castiel kept tugging on Dean’s shirtsleeve on the way to the room, until Dean got fed up and turned to him. “What?” He spat.  
“What did she mean? That we wouldn’t need three beds?” Castiel asked.  
“It doesn’t matter.” Dean said.  
“Dean?” Castiel inquired, tugging once more on Dean’s sleeve. “What did she mean?”  
“She thought that we were sleeping together.” Dean said.  
“Oh.” Castiel shrugged and started walking towards the room.  
Dean couldn’t help but wonder why Cas was so unfazed about this, but he dismissed this as Castiel being naive. He followed Castiel into the room, Sam following behind him, still talking to Bobby.  
When they got into the room, Dean surveyed it and cursed. He had hoped there would be a couch or a chair at least so he wouldn’t have to sleep in a bed someone else, but no luck (did he ever have any luck?). There were only two bare-bones beds and an attached bathroom, and a shaggy and suspiciously stained carpet. He was going to have to sleep next to one of the other men tonight, and with the glare that Sam was giving him as he crashed onto the first bed, Dean knew it wasn’t going to be with his brother.  
Dean sat down on the other bed, crossing his arms over his chest, marking his territory.  
Castiel stood in front of the both of beds, fluttering his arms like he wanted fly away (which he definitely could). “Where… where do I sleep?” He asked.  
Sam smirked and kicked off his boots. “Don’t look at me. Sleep with Dean.”  
Cas nodded. “Okay.”  
“Okay? What? Why can’t he sleep with you, Sam?” Dean asked.  
Sam rolled his eyes grandly, and Castiel said, “It’s fine, Dean. I favor you anyway.”  
“Favor me?” Dean asked, eyes widening.  
“Wow, I’m offended. Good night, lovebirds.” Sam snorted, climbing under the covers. He pulled them over his head, a clear sign that he would not be speaking again that night.  
“Fuck off,” Dean spat at the blanket-covered lump that was his brother, before turning to Castiel. “You favor me?” Dean asked, heart pounding in a way he wasn’t used to.  
“Hmm?” Castiel asked, shedding his trench coat and tie. “Of course. Because of our profound b-”  
“Profound bond. Yeah. Right.” Dean finished. He didn’t understand why he felt so disappointed.  
It didn’t matter anyway, they may have fallen asleep next to each other, they may have ended up curled together, Dean may have woken up and seen Castiel holding him tight and nuzzled closer, but Castiel was gone before Dean woke up.  
(line break)  
Dean was pissed. Because feelings kept happening, and he hated it. He couldn’t spend a minute around Castiel without feeling his skin prickle, hoping to be touched, or his cheeks pinking. Dean did NOT blush like a fucking schoolgirl.  
Maybe he should make that a rule.  
But being around Castiel was making him question some of his fundamental rules; namely number three and four. He could accept breaking rule four on occasion, cuddling wasn’t that big of a deal, but rule number three was supposed to be ironclad.  
He was NOT gay.  
But Castiel was making him wonder.   
Because Dean wanted do so many things with Castiel, so many things he couldn’t even fathom. He wanted to hold Castiel, kiss him, tell him he loved him and always would, and then make sweet, sweet love to him.  
And those were not the thoughts of a heterosexual.   
So, Dean drowned his thoughts the only way he knew how: alcohol and sex.  
After downing three beers and four shots and picking up a curvy brunette at the shittiest bar in town, Dean proceeded to lead her to his and Sam’s hotel room (which Sam had vacated already, recognizing his brother’s outing would end a certain way that Sam would not want to be present for). He and Allison? Alisha? Alice? were making out, Allison-Alisha-Alice was straddling Dean’s lap, shirtless and grinding down on Dean. Though Dean was aroused, it was hard not to be with someone relentlessly rubbing their hips down on yours, he wasn’t feeling anything. He felt hollow in a way he had never experienced before. Allison-Alisha-Alice was guiding Dean’s hands to her bra clasp when Dean heard the familiar whooshing noise of Castiel’s arrival.  
Frustrated and angry, Dean ripped his lips from Allison-Alisha-Alice’s to look and see that, yes, Castiel was standing in the corner of the room, staring at a spot on the floor safely away from Dean and Allison-Alisha-Alice. “Cas, what the hell are you doing here?” Dean growled. He knew he was being unkind, but he didn’t know how to deal with the surge of affection and attraction he felt towards the angel.  
“Is this, like, a voyeurism thing?” Alison-Alisha-Alice asked, pressing her hips down further onto Dean’s. “‘Cause I’d, like, so be up for that.” Dean bite back a groan and grabbed Allison-Alisha-Alice’s hips so she couldn’t elicit any more noises from him. She pouted in confusion but said nothing, seemingly to realize it wasn’t her place.  
“Cas?” Dean prompted. “Why are you here?”  
Castiel frowned at the ground, and Dean realized that the angel was blushing. “I wanted to- to… it doesn’t ma-matter anyway, I can just go-” Castiel stuttered.  
Dean had never seen Castiel this flustered. Dean cut him off, before the other man could fly away. “Hey, Cas, don’t go. You wanted to what?”  
“To, um…” Dean watched as Castiel’s adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “To cuddle.”  
Dean froze in place. Cas had come to cuddle?  
“Aww…” Allison-Alisha-Alice cooed. “Your boyfriend is so cute!”  
“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Dean said, his eyebrows furrowing.  
At Dean’s words, Castiel flinched. “I’m just going to go, okay?”  
“No! Cas! Jesus, don’t go okay. Alli-Ali- uh…” Dean sputtered, trying to remember the girl’s name.  
“Alix.” She supplied, smiling amusedly.   
“Alix. Do you think you could…” Dean trailed off, hesitant to just ask her to go. He didn’t want to just force her to leave.  
“Go? Yeah, I can go.” Alix grinned. She removed herself from Dean’s lap and slipped on her shirt and made for the door, grabbing her shoes on the way. “Patch things up, you two. You, like, make a cute couple.” Alix said, sending a wink over her shoulder before shutting the door behind her.   
Dean groaned and buried his head in his hands in embarrassment. “Sonofabitch.” He looked up at Castiel, who was still a safe distance away from Dean. “C’mere Cas.” He said, patting next to him on the bed. Cautiously, Castiel approached him and sat down, not looking Dean in the eye. “You came here to cuddle? Why?” He asked, not unkindly, but curiously.  
Castiel shifted uncomfortably. “I do not know. I feel safe when I am with you. And strangely warm where my cardiovascular system is.”  
Dean snorted then. “You mean your heart.”  
“I… yes. My heart feels warm when I am with you. Dean, I am not very good with words, but-”  
Dean sucked in a breath and stared into the sparkling blue eyes of his angel and made a split-second decision. Dean grabbed Castiel’s collar and pulled him in, effectively cutting him off. Dean searched Castiel’s expression for a moment, just to make sure he wasn’t horrified, but though Castiel looked shocked, his eyes were fluttering closed. Dean sighed in relief and finally, finally pressed his lips against Castiel’s.   
Though Castiel’s lips were slightly chapped, the feeling of kissing Castiel was heavenly to Dean. It was bliss, Dean’s lips against Castiel’s, Castiel’s hands threading through Dean’s hair. Dean tentatively drew his tongue across the seal of Castiel’s lips. They parted easily for Dean, and Dean slid his tongue into Castiel’s mouth. He immediately moaned at the taste of Castiel, but before he could really relish in it, Castiel’s eyes shot open and he wrenched himself away from Dean.  
“You’re… Dean, you’re intoxicated.” Castiel spat the word out like it was poisonous.  
“Yeah…” Dean admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “But not much… Cas? Are you okay?”  
Castiel had stumbled back from Dean, his back pressed against the far wall. Her arms were drawn up into his chest, his hands obscuring most of his face, but from his small sniffling noise, Dean could tell something was wrong. “Are you… crying, Cas? What’s wrong?” He asked, getting up and walking over to Cas, his voice soft.  
Castiel looked up with tears streaming down his cheeks. It was so uncharacteristic of the angel to show emotion, so the tears hit Dean especially hard. “I refuse to be one of your drunken fornication sessions, Dean. I’m… I’m going to go.”  
“What? That isn’t it at all! Cas, you don’t-” And then Cas was gone with a flash. “Shit. Shit! Cas! Get your winged ass back here, right now! Cas!” Dean shouted. “Damn it. Damn it, Cas!”   
Dean paced back and forth across the hotel room floor, running his hands through his hair furiously, fuming. And why shouldn’t he be angry? He wasn’t that drunk. Dean wobbled then, and nearly fell onto the bed. Okay, so he was pretty drunk. But he wanted this, wanted Cas, and the alcohol had just lowered his inhibitions a smidge. He was mad at Cas for leaving, and for discounting Dean’s feelings and actions, and most of all, for making Dean break his own rules.  
Dean had cuddled, and Dean, surprisingly, seemed pretty darn gay as of this moment.  
Dean prayed and prayed that night, to Castiel, to god, to every angel and god he knew of, but he still woke up as lonely as he was when he went to sleep.  
(line break)  
It had been two weeks since Dean had last seen Castiel, and he was high-strung and emotional the whole time, not knowing what to do. Every single case Sam and him came upon, Dean would sigh and make some comment on how much faster it would go if Cas was there.  
Finally, it got to the point where Sam couldn’t take it anymore. They were in the middle of a diner, discussing how to go about hunting a wendigo, when the conversation trailed off and Dean blew out a sigh. “We’d already be done with this case if Cas was here…” Dean said, reaching to grab a fry.  
At Dean’s words, Sam felt his frustration bubble up, so he growled and threw his chia-acai berry with wheat-germ protein shake in Dean’s face.  
“WHAT THE FUCK, SAM?” Dean sputtered, wiping the healthy juices off of his face. “What the hell was that for?”  
“Okay, Dean, I get that you have problems and whatever, but so do I. And my problem is your constant whining about Cas ditching us. I get that you’re in love with him- I know you want to protest, but right now you are going to listen- I get that you’re in love with him, but he’s an angel, and if he hasn’t shown up yet for you, then he probably has something better to do. Can we please get back to work now?” Sam asked, voice steely. He was being harsh for the benefit of his brother, he knew Dean hated “chick-flick moments”, and he didn’t want Dean to feel uncomfortable. Sam just needed him focused on the case.  
Dean pouted and was quiet for a minute, silently and sullenly stuffing his face with fries. When he did speak, it was soft, “He doesn’t have anything better to do, Sam. He’s just avoiding me.”  
Sam set down the pen he was chewing on and listened to his brother with rapt interest. Dean didn’t open up often, so when he did, Sam knew the signs and he knew to pay attention. “Why would he be avoiding you, Dean?”  
Dean bit his lip and turned a peculiar shade of burgundy. “Because I…” He swallowed. “Because I kissed him.”  
Sam tried to hide the edge of shock in his voice when he answered, “Really?”  
Dean nodded. “Yeah, but Cas… Cas ran away.”  
“Why would he do that?” Sam asked, eyebrows furrowing. He knew that Castiel was just as in love with Dean as Dean was in love with Castiel, so something must have happened to make him flee.  
“I was… I was drunk. Not much, but Cas, you know, doesn’t really understand all that, so he… he said that he ‘refused to be one of my drunken fornification sessions’.” Dean said. He traced a fry through a puddle of ketchup sadly.  
“There’s something else.” Sam said, watching Dean’s hands.  
“What?” Dean asked.  
“There’s something else. You move your hands when you’re hiding something. What else, Dean?” Sam implored.  
“There was a girl.” Dean said.  
“What do you mean?” Sam asked.  
“I was about to have sex. With a girl. And then Cas showed up.”  
“Shit.”  
“Yeah.” Dean sighed.  
“And then what happened?” Sam asked, pouring as much soul into his voice until it practically oozed soothing. This was going to be hard for Dean to talk about, and Sam needed to know what happened so he could help him.  
“Cas said he showed up because he wanted to cuddle. With me. So, Alex left and… I don’t know. We talked a bit. Then I kissed him, and he… he kissed me back but… he could taste the alcohol. On my lips. So, he ran away.” Dean frowned and stuffed another fry into his mouth so Sam couldn’t ask him more questions.  
“Have you tried talking to him?” Sam asked. “Tried to explain?”  
“Believe me, man, I’ve been praying more than I have in my entire life. He either isn’t listening, or he doesn’t care.” Dean tucked his head down, clearly hurt. “God, I really… I like him, Sam. Romantically. I’ve never felt like this with anyone, and it scares me. A lot. Especially because he’s a guy, and he’s my best friend, and I’m afraid I’ll fuck this up. I’m even more afraid that I already have.”  
Sam was about to respond, when he saw a flash of light about a table away from them, a split second where the empty space had a human-shaped shadow. Sam remembered back to when Castiel had spied on them invisibly, right before the Leviathans, and recognition thundered through him.   
People had strange ways of showing their affections towards one another: Sam gave a girl flowers or chocolate, Dean sulked, drank, and fucked other people, and Castiel invisibly stalked people. Team Free Will was truly a group of charmers. “Try calling him again tonight. I have a feeling he’ll come this time.” Sam said.  
Dean chewed a fry loudly, knowing how it would disgust Sam. “Fine. But this is the last time. I’ve prayed to him for weeks. If he doesn’t come tonight, I’m going to need to accept that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.” Dean picked up another fry and Sam saw his barriers come back up. “Now, shut up and eat your rabbit food.” Dean said, gesturing to the vegetation on Sam’s plate with a limp fry.  
Sam made a face and stabbed his fork into his kale salad.  
Then he went to the bathroom to call the hotel and booked himself a room so Castiel and Dean could have some privacy.  
(line break)  
“Sam, where are you going?” Dean asked. They had arrived at their room, but Sam had kept walking.   
Sam turned and said, “As much as I want you two to kiss and makeup, I also don’t want to be present for it. You can ‘cuddle’ in peace.”  
Dean mouth hung open, at a loss for words for once in his life, and Sam smirked and walked away, stopping only to shout over his shoulder, “The walls are thin, Dean! Be considerate!”  
Dean flushed and barked out a strangled, “Bitch!”  
Dean only heard the lingering sounds of Sam’s reply as Sam disappeared into the maze of the hotel floor. “Jerk!”  
Dean sighed and unlocked the hotel room door. The door swung open with a protesting squeak, and then Dean entered the room. It wasn’t a luxurious establishment, but as far as the rooms Sam and Dean usually stayed in, it wasn’t the worst. Two beds with red comforters, mostly free of incriminating stains with little mints on the pillows. Dean checked, and they were the shitty kind that burned your mouth like gasoline, but it was the thought that counts, right?  
Dean paced for a moment, wishing he could dull his nerves with a swig of alcohol, but he was afraid Castiel might know and run away again. This was something he was going to have to do sober.  
He blew out a sigh toward the ceiling, scrubbing a hand over his face, and let out a groan. “Jesus, Cas…” He closed his eyes tightly, balling his hands into fists. “Castiel, angel of the fucking lord, get your feathery ass down here, I gotta talk to you.” Dean opened one eye and peered around to see if Castiel had come, but he wasn’t there. Dean groaned. “Sonofabitch, Cas. Please. I need to talk to you.”  
“Dean.” Came a gruff voice.  
Dean looked up to see Castiel standing in front of him in all his gruff trench-coated glory.  
“Oh, thank god,” Dean said, running up to Castiel and wrapping his arms around him. Castiel stiffened at the touch, but he reciprocated by awkwardly patting Dean on the back. “I was worried. Where the hell were you?” Dean asked, pulling back just enough to see Castiel’s face.  
“I was never far away.” Castiel informed Dean, eyes averted.  
“Oh yeah, then where the fuck were you? I prayed every day, Cas. Every day.” Dean shouted.  
“Dean-” Castiel protested, but Dean cut him off.  
“No, I don’t think you get it, Cas. Every day. I was so afraid, Cas, that you’d cut me off or… or that I’d fucked up so bad that you’d never want to see me again.” Dean quieted for a moment and slipped out of Castiel’s arms. “I thought you’d never let me explain.”  
“It’s fine, Dean, you don’t have to explain to me. You were intoxicated, that’s all.” Castiel said, his voice tipping down like something was weighing on him.  
“No, no, Cas, that’s not- yes, yes I was intoxicated, but that… that isn’t why I kissed you.” Dean said, shaking his hands in exasperation.   
“Um…” Castiel swallowed. “What… what are you saying, Dean.”  
“That I… Jesus.” Dean stopped, suddenly feeling like his tongue was too dry for him to continue. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, wondering why this was so damn hard for him to get out. “That I like you, Cas.”  
“Well, I’d hope so. We’ve been friends for years, Dean.” Castiel said, his eyebrows furrowing.  
“No, Cas, you don’t get it. I don’t like you just like a friend.” Dean said.  
“Then, like a brother?” Castiel said. “I remember you’ve said that before…”  
“No, Cas, no, not like a brother.” Dean said. He was wringing his hands like a woman and he was pissed at himself and at Castiel and at words and how damn hard this was for him. “Like more than that. Jesus fuck, Cas, am I going to need to spell it out for you? I… I like-like you.”   
“You like-like me?” Cas said. “I don’t... I don’t understand.”  
“Cas, I’m… I’m in love with you.” Dean whispered, his head buried in his hands. “God, Cas, I’m so in love with you, and it scares the shit out of me.”  
Castiel just stood there, eyes wide, stiller than Dean had ever seen him before.  
“Cas.” Dean said, voice shaky and soft. “Please. Say something. Anything.”  
But Castiel didn’t say anything. Instead, he rushed forward and cupped Dean’s jaw, his eyes squeezed shut and his forehead pressed against Dean’s.   
“Cas…” Dean said, his voice trembling. He reached out and ran his hands down Castiel’s arms. “I love you.”  
And then Castiel was kissing him. It was perhaps the most wonderful thing Dean had ever experienced. The sensation of Castiel’s lips against his, adamant and inexperienced but eager still, made Dean’s heart beat harder than it ever had before. This time, Castiel initiated and drew his tongue across Dean’s lips, asking for permission, and Dean parted them quickly. As soon as Castiel’s tongue was in Dean’s mouth, he let out a little sigh of relief. Dean realized that Castiel must have been wondering if Dean really was drunkenly babbling about his feelings towards him, and having confirmation that this was real must have been a huge relief.  
Dean kissed him harder, wanting Castiel to know just how much he meant his words, just how much he loved him, but Castiel pulled back, panting slightly.   
“Dean, I…” Castiel drew in a shaky breath. “I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you.” He whispered like a prayer.  
“How long?” Dean asked.  
Castiel started to cry then, happy tears spilling down his cheeks. “Always.”  
Dean smiled softly and kissed away each salty tear, then grabbed Castiel’s hands, pulling him towards the bed. They both kicked off their shoes on the way, and then Dean pulled Castiel under the covers, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. Castiel gripped Dean’s shirt tightly, knotting his fingers in the soft fabric, and Dean pressed a kiss on the top of Castiel’s head. They stayed like that until Castiel had stopped crying.  
“You know, I don’t sleep. And I was the one to lock Sam in the car, not the witch. And I only left the third time because heaven needed me. And I came the fourth time because I didn’t want you with anyone else-” Castiel babbled, trying to explain his actions. Castiel was cut off because Dean started laughing uncontrollably. Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to why Dean was laughing. “I was expecting you to be angry.”   
“Cas, I’m not angry… that’s ridiculous though. You’re saying you popped in all those times because you wanted to be with me?” Dean said between laughs.  
“Yes… I like cuddling with you.” Castiel said.  
“Good.” Dean grinned and kissed Castiel. He pulled back only to say, “I like cuddling with you too, Cas.”  
Castiel was making Dean break all his rules, and he loved it.  
“I love you, Dean.”  
Maybe Dean should replace rules three and four.  
“I love you, too Cas.”  
A new rule: Castiel trumps all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you did, and see you next time!


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